Trying to be for the Holy One

So the whole reason I decided to start this blog today was so I could express what is going on in my spiritual life, which of course includes daily life but so often they seem like different things. Right now I am focusing on really trying to integrate the two.

I read today in my little devotional/thought-provoking device, a book called "Words to Live By" (for those of you who love words like me...you'll LOVE it!) a great quote that I am going to try to memorize and live by this week: "[As a Christian] You aren't trying just to be holy; you are trying to be for the Holy One." Isn't that so simple, yet so difficult?

It made me think back to when I was in elementary school, when I was what you would think of (and I liked to think of) as the perfect kid. I would do what I was told, and even bordered on the "goody good", teacher's pet personality. At the time, I just thought that was what I was supposed to do. Point out to others that they should say ___ or not around me, etc. What a snobby little girl I was...

I lived out my life as I felt my parents expected and tried not to get into trouble because that was what you were supposed to do. Looking back, I definitely wouldn't have changed myself, but I do think back and realize that that little girl set the habits of this 22 yr old and how I act today. I sometimes find myself living in that same "Holier than thou" mindset. Not because I think that I am, but somewhere along the way of skipping rope and playing barbies, I fell into living by rules, not by faith.

It took me up until junior year of college to finally realize that although I was living for the King in a way, it was not completely fulfilling. It amazed me to realize that by just living in the freedom of Christ, and with the knowledge that everything I do should be for his glory, didn't necessarily mean that everything I did was based on a to-do list of religious tasks or must do's. And I definitely was not supposed to be the one enforcing my own rules on others. What freedom I found when I finally realized that learning to live like Christ, was just daily deciding to live by faith and meekness. Legalism had been such a part of my life, that I had made it my own religion, something that kept me and others in check. I realize now that legalism is so far away from how I practice freedom in Christ. I don't think it was anyone's fault, as it was more just me misunderstanding the way to live. It is not the Baptists fault for me putting certain restraints on myself, and it is not my parents fault, or anyone. I've just come to realize that living in freedom is so freeing! Making decisions based on what would be most glorifying to God, setting boundaries not guilt laws, and sharing my faith by love not by force.

Amazing how God uses such a simple quote to evoke such thoughts in me. I pray that I will continue to grow in this, as I was meant to live: as a shining light dancing before my Daddy's throne, just as the stars put on a performance every night to the moon.